The trials of being vertically challenged

When you are short, reaching for items on high shelves can be a challenge. Photo credit: Janis Williams

Short people unite. Let us bask in our trials and tales of being vertically challenged.

We are small but mighty, sure we require a ladder to the high shelves, sit close to the steering wheel, struggle to find a perfect pair of jeans. And don’t get us short ladies started on dress shopping.

To the person who invented the ladder, thank you. Without ladders, items on high shelves would sit gathering dust for ages, waiting for a tall person to rescue it from its dusty demise.

But the real question is, what kind of monster puts regularly used items on high shelves anyways? Knowing full well us vertically challenged people cannot reach it without a ladder.

Shame on you, we hope you step on a lego.

When you are short, you have to sit close to the steering wheel, which is not safe due to airbags. But how else are we going to drive?

I’ll tell you: very carefully due to fears of a giant bag of air smashing into us when in an accident.

If a tall person drives your car, you have to readjust everything when you get back in, all the while you are cursing the gods for making you short.

Clothes shopping can be a hassle, especially jeans. Unless you are a fan of skinny jeans which save us short people from having our pant legs drag on the ground.

If you are not a fan then you know the hardships of finding the perfect pair, thank goodness for mothers and grandmothers who know how to hem.

Ladies, dress shopping, fun right? Wrong.

Being a short woman means dress shopping is a nightmare. They are either too long or you are swimming in them or they are so short you look like you should be in a rap video.

Skirts are just the same as dresses.

Let’s not get started on the short jokes. We have heard them all. Bernadette from “The Big Bang Theory” was not wrong when she jokes about people asking where her mommy is.

We sometimes get mistaken for small children, no Susan I can assure you I’m a fully grown adult.

So I say to my fellow short people, let us unite. Together we are strong, sure we are the butt end of every tall person’s jokes but as they say, good things come in small packages and if a few of us get on each other’s shoulders, we can reach the top shelves.

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