Technology has its conveniences but for every positive there is a negative. It seems like face-to-face communication is a trend of the past that has been swapped with text messages, phone calls and tweets.
Has chivalry been brutally murdered by technology? Love used to be like a classic 80’s film, holding a boom box outside your girlfriend’s window like in the movie ‘Say Anything’, but this doesn’t seem to compare to leaving a heart emoticon underneath an instagram picture these days. Well-known romance author Nicolas Sparks will soon be the new Shakespeare telling tales of love that are simply defined as history.
Today’s digital generation mainly knows connection through social media and the cyber space. Stephen Giles a Toronto-based couple councilor believes that even though being connected through the cyber world can be a positive thing, it can also have a negative result on our relationships.
“A phone is like a third person in relationships, and can often cause feelings of rejection or abandonment,” explained Giles. He continued to explain that phones could neglect necessary bonding and reliability in relationships.
According to first year Durham College student Shajee Costales-Khan, communication has evolved for the worst and our words are hardly coming out of our mouths but are traveling through our fingertips instead. He believes that smartphones cause wedge in relationships by jeopardizing trust.
“Smartphones come with all these distracting apps, it can cause a wedge for sure,” said Costales-Khan, “your significant other might want to go through your phone, and when you say no it becomes a problem.” Costales-Khan said that trust is necessary for a healthy relationship but phones play a factor in ruining that.
Cheating truly goes beyond sexual relations; emotional betrayal can actually become more devastating than physical. Ajax Pastor Raymond Burnett believes that a relationship without trust isn’t a relationship at all.
“Trust is just as important as love. If I say I love you in a relationship, trust is the only thing that can maintain that,” said Burnett, who has been married for 34 years. He says when he first started dating, phones weren’t able to distract you from spending quality time with your loved one.
UOIT couple Julia Vanderluit and Daniel Cameron say that within the last year and a half they have never let smartphones come between their relationships in any way. “Don’t look too far into things if you’re texting another guy I’m not going to assume the worst,” Cameron explained. The couple shared a mutual smile when they explained that phones aren’t what they pay attention to when they are together. “The trust in our relationship is 100 percent, we have never given each other a reason to not trust each other. It’s important to not jeopardize your partner’s trust and you just hope that they don’t jeopardize yours,” said Vanderluit.
The days of holding hands have been replaced with busy texting fingers, and getting to know each other means checking what he or she likes on Facebook. Chivalry has gained a new definition thanks to technology by showing affection through social media instead of hugs and kisses in person. All in all, present day love lives have divorced old-fashioned tendencies.